New report finds that schools are ‘diversifying’ nursery rhymes to reflect the demographic of their pupils

maxresdefaultBirmingham, UK- A newly released report has shown that a large number of primary schools in multicultural parts of Britain are doing away with traditional nursary rhyme lyrics, instead choosing to replace their words with those that are ‘more inclusive’ and ‘diversifying’. One school has gotten rid of ‘Jack and Jill’ instead having ‘Deepak and Dill’ go up the hill, another, having sacked ‘Little Bo Peep’ for constantly losing her sheep, has employed ‘Little Mo Peep’ who they hope will do a better job, and over at Old MacDonalds farm, he has been replaced by Mr Kowalski after hiring lots of Polish workers. Another inclusion sees ‘What are Little Boys Made Of?’ Turned into a more LGBT+ friendly versions named, ‘What Are NonBinaries Made Of? Headteacher Jessica Vern of the Newfoundland Primary School In Birmingham said “We are seeing children approach us about diversity and our differences from a younger and younger age, from 2 years old children are beginning to question their religion, sexuality and political views. The least we can do is become a more inclusive society and so change these rhymes to reflect us all.” She went on to add “In the past few weeks we’ve made many alterations mostly due to recommendations from the children, I can now confirm that Marys Little Lamb is 100% halal certified, Humpty Dumpty sat facing Mecca, and finally Tweedledum and Tweedle Dee are in a homosexual polyamorous relationship. The only one yet we haven’t had to chance is the one about The Three Blind Mice.”