14 Dead in Black Friday Bloodbath, Countless injured

neimanswindowblood-e1322418121755 New York-US, Americas national day of cut price bargains and buying things you dont need, is fast becoming a day of mourning. Reports indicate that ‘dozens’ of people have been killed across the country in the vicious melees caused by Black Friday Deals. In Texas, 4 men were brutally killed by a state of the art 52 inch 4K Samsung televesion which tragically toppled from its display cabinet caused by a ruckus below, it is not known how many others were hurt but there are some reports of ‘pixel related injuries, coloured bleeding and liquid crystal burns.’ In Cleveland three people were mysteriously strangled to death in broad daylight in a Walmart store by a man they’re dubbing the ‘Black Friday Killer’. The murder weapon was a Walmart display sign that was advertising the national holiday, police are currently investigating. Local sherrif Dom Hicks said “This happened in front of people but nobody saw a thing, one minute the victims are standing in the crowd, the next they’re gone. And when the crowd clears there they are, lying dead with a 80% banner wrapped around their necks.’ And to show that Black Friday doesnt discriminate, even in the affluent Los Angeles California, 7 people lost their lives after being accidentaly locked inside a Target store, it is thought that they continued to brawl over items of clothing and eventually reverted back to their primative nature, adopting a tribal attitude and eventually killing each other over the bargains. Store worker Alex said “It was horrendous, we left last night thinking the store was empty but it wasnt, they stuck around and were killing each other over turtle neck sweaters and crocks.”