“Unluckiest” man in the world finally killed by horny mountain goat

romania_shepherdBrno, Czech Republic- A lovla Czexh man has become the first person in history to be killed by a mountain goat. Ambro Novak, a 44 year old farmer who resided on the outskirts of the small city of Brno, was on his way to a neighboring farm when the unlikely incident occurred. After traversing up a mountain, Ambro stopped to take a lunch break when he was greeted by an adult ram. “The goats over here are very territorial, especially during their mating season.” neighbour Andula Svoboda said “We think it may have stalked him. And whilst he was laying down his blanket, mounted him from behind.” Ambros battered and bloody, goat hair covered body was found 2 days later at the bottom of the hill. “Ive never heard of this happening before, but if it was going to happen to someone it would be Ambro.” According to his neighbour Andula, this wasn’t Ambros first unlucky incident hed been involved in, “When he was 5, cradled in the arms of his father, he was dropped on his head after his dad tried to catch a ball at a basebell game. When he was 10 he caught both testicles in his zipper and had to have the teeth of the zips surgically removed. He was struck by lightening 3 times between the ages of 17 and 19.” Some time after that moved out to the country, but his bad luck persisted, “He never had a good season, every year his crop was destroyed by something different, one year a BDSM sex festival pitched up, another year it was destroyed by a tornado and last year he was kept prisoner inside his farm house for 2 months by a pack of wild dogs.”