Trump Tower- New York, there has been alot of chatter from the journalists that huddle below the giant phallus-like building, one rumour is that Donald Trump is considering making it the official residence of the president, another is that for the past 24 hours Trump has been practising how to press a big red, nuclear launch simulating button. One thing Trump is willing to admit is that he would like engage directly with the climate to ensure that it does’nt change. “Were going to have direct talks with the climate” he said in a rare interview with reporters, he appeared surrounded by secret service, private body guards and heavily armed police officers. The renowned climate skeptic who once blamed China and the Climate of directly consipring against the US said “Our representives are already at work,we’re drafting up dozens and dozens of articles to ensure we get the best deal.” He continued “I have spoken with the Climate directly on the phone, and let me tell you she is a very frigid woman, she blows hot and cold, its going to be hard work but eventually we will get a good deal, at the moment our relationship is frosty, there are dark skies above us but I do see a beam of light shining through the clouds.” At that point Trump was interrupted by the Climate itself as it started to rain heavily, he was then immediately rushed inside before the rain water started to displace his orange tan and yellow hair.
SCIENTISTS announced yesterday that they were ‘On the brink’ of resurrecting the legendary Woolly Mammoth, a species that once roamed the Earth in droves, but was eventually wiped out by the progression of mankind and […]
THERE was mass confusion across the country today, after MP’s in the Houses of Parliament today debated an online petition that was aimed at Donald Trump, but was somehow mixed up with the British word […]
A PETITION set up by a member of the general public has ‘Greatly exceeded’ his own expectations by reaching over 1 million signatures. Tod Carter created the petition after his social media accounts were ‘Deluged’ […]