Leave Your Car Running For A Few Minutes In The Morning To Warm Up, Advises Local Criminal

thugLiverpool, UK- As the clocks go back, the days become shorter and instead of the lengthened sun, we’re forced to embrace the cold icy grip of the winter night, that, in the deepest depths of the season can last for up to 17 hours. With average temperatures dropping to 4 degrees, the bitter season plays havoc with out internal clocks, our mental health and even our cars. One man has some advice on the matter, Jay Stewart a local career criminal from the Merseyside Area of Liverpool said “When you go to work in the morning why not get up a few minutes earlier and let your engine deforst your car itself? Go and have a cuppa or a shower. It makes sense.” Jay freely admits that his takings are up over winter , especially during the Christmas period “Of course” he said in his thick scouse accent, the phlegm bubbling at the back of his throat, “Christmas is the busiest time of year for us, mugging old ladies in the park, burglarizing the kiddies Xmas prezzies and stealing puppies, sometimes we even punch babies for fun. It’s a profitable business.” Jay was quick to continue his advice by giving us a list of other things homeowners can do to protect themselves from him and his fellow criminals over the holiday period, “Turn all of your lights off because it wastes electricity and its a fire hazard, post all your holiday pictures on social media to spread the festive cheer and leave your windows open to prevent the damp forming into mould.”