2017 promises to ‘Do over’ 2016

logo1232016, 2017 border- 2016 has been a remarkable year, for some its has been the one of the saddest on record, there have been many celebrity deaths, including numerous legendary pop icons such as David Bowie, Prince, David Gest and Pete, and other stars, Muhammed Ali, Gene Wilder and Paul Daniels.

For others, the most exciting, politics was especially eventful, Nigel Farage and his Brexit shook the world, and when he did it again with Donald Trump, people nearly fell off, and then there’s sport, Leicester City defying at a 5000-1 shot of winning the Premier League title. 2017 however has promised to outdo even one of the most incredible years on record.

“Were going to roll 2016 over and stomp it into the curb” 2017 said as it took a deep drag of a Marlborough cigarette. “Its toast, you’ll wish you never even left it” 2017 continued his intimidating stare at our reporter, who noticed a tattoo of a flaming meteorite on its arm.

“Were going in hard, let me tell you, we’ve been brainstorming ideas, ever since Team 2015 took hold last year, we’ve already got Jesus signed up to appear at Easter, and now we’re working on God.” It said.

2017’s claims arent verified and it stressed that “Nothing as yet was for certain”. However it did add a little more information just for the rumor mill to grind up “or March we’re looking at some sort of meteor strike or maybe like a massive climate change, a few months later maybe a a nuclear strike or world war 3, then we’ll most likely top the year off with an Armageddon.”