Sadiq Khan issues London with air pollution warning after letting off massive fart



sadiq-khan-reutersPictured: Sadiq guesstimates the size of his flatulence.

Central London, UK- Citizens in London have been issued with “Air quality and pollution” warnings after Mayor Sadiq Khan let off several huge farts during one of his weekly mayoral meetings.

Londoners have been urgently notified of the deteriation in air quality after warnings were put in place at 2,500 bus stops, 270 Tube stations and on 140 signs next to the cities busiest roads.

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One resident who was on his way to work said, “I’ve been coughing and spluttering on an eggy smell ever since I left my front door, its clogging up in my throat and I think I’m getting pink eye.”

The warning is expected to remain in place throughout Thursday until Friday, after it was revealed that Khan ate brussel sprouts for his dinner last night. “We can’t be sure of when it’ll clear but we hope its soon.” Said Joanna Gomez, spokesperson for the Mayors office.

There were unanimous calls from the Conservative party for Khan to pay a ‘Constipation Charge’ every time he broke wind. “Its not sonething we’re actively investigating but we’re looking in to what can be done.” said Ms Gomez.

Mr Khan has also issued a “Sincere apology” through Twitter, as well as giving advice for those susceptible to bad air quality, especially those with health issues. “Anyone experiencing discomfort such as sore eyes, a cough or sore throat is advised to consider reducing their activity, their local GP. Early detection is the best treatment against methane poisoning.”