London, England- In an unprecedented move that will surely bring them under scrutiny, a vegan group has sent out a memo to all of its 10,000 members urging them not to take part in ‘The slaughter of Christmas dinner’
The group, named IMVEGAN!! has sought to start a new recruitment campaign after its numbers began to flail earlier this year.
“We’re going all out this Christmas.” Said leader Amy Blossom. “Weve advised people not to take part in the gruesome act of eating a Christmas dinner. We don’t want meat anywhere near our plates let alone on it.”
“But we also dont want people to miss out on the festivities, so we’ve urged people to eat plants instead and where better to find such a seasonal plant than in your front living room, your Christmas tree. Its already harvested so you may as well eat it.”
Amy went on to explain the nutritional benefits of eating Christmas Trees. “We’ll they’re green so that’s good for you, they taste great, sort of like a wooden, piney flavour and you can use the pines to pick your teeth afterwards, but you’ll have to pull them out of your throat first.”
Amy says that her and her group are just trying to veganism to light this Christmas and to highlight the plight of approximately 1 billion chickens and turkeys that will be slaughtered and turned into delicious Xmas dinners.
“The best Xmas present anyone could ever have is being able to turn vegan with support from friends and family. Remember a vegan is for life, not just for Christmas.”