A CAT has become the first of its kind this season to publicly announce that she is going to “fuck up” her owners tree when she erects it.
Lou a 5 year old tortoise shell Calico from from Lancaster in Cumbria has repeatedly threatened to bring down the tree by any means necessary.
“I’m going to do climb to the top and make it lose its balance.” she said licking her paws, “Hopefully if I aim it right I’ll be able to hit the TV and if I’m lucky, the coffee table too. Last year I knocked off the lights and caused a small fire, I high tailed it out of there quicktime.”
Lous owner 29 year old Emma Thompson was blissfully unaware of her cats plans to disrupt her entire Christmas.
She said, “What Lou, she’s adorable, she wouldn’t do anything like that on purpose. I usually put it up on the 1st, although this year I have delayed putting up our tree because the last couple times it has mysteriously fallen down.”
Lou seemed quite pleased at her owners ignorance. “I can’t believe she doesn’t know its me, the dozey cow. I’ve been knocking it over for years now, she’s constantly buying new tinsel and baubels to replace the breakages. ”
Its not known how many cats wish to destroy the Christmas spirit but reports suggest that felines show trees a great deal of animosity, supposdely due to primitive urges that make them regard Christmas Trees as an encroachment on their territory.
When asked why she aims to ruin Christmas for everyone, Lou said “Because its fucking fun alright.”