AFTER a disastrously bad year for humanity, Donald Trump and Brexit being the prime examples, NASA chiefs have been persuaded to bring back its Rover 4 satellite from Mars and have it orbit Earth instead.
The satellite will help monitor the search for intelligent life on Earth after 2016 displayed that there clearly wasn’t any.
“We think it may take a long time.” Said Anna Roberts, NASA spokesperson. “There are 7.5 billion people on Earth, sifting through all that dumbassery will be a lot tougher than the zero result we’ve had from sitting and monitoring Mars for the past couple of years.”
The Rover 4 will take approximately 3 months to drop our of its orbit and haul itself back home, it then needs to be reprogrammed before it can start to function properly for its new intended use.
“We need to recalibrate this thing before we let the average Joe anywhere near it. The amount of stupid that will need filtering is remarkable, even just a samply nearly disabled the Guinea pig satellite we have up there.”
“Once we’re up and going, anyone we feel is intelligent enough not to do stupid shit will be contacted and either given a command centre or brought to us in Houston Texas for further debriefing.”