Amazon uses cannons to launch new ‘Instant’ delivery service

FIRST there was Amazon Prime, then there was Amazon Prime Now, then there was Amazon Drone, but now Amazon have really stretched the boundaries for super quick deliveries with Amazon Instant.

“Its a cannon.’ Says Tom Wood, Chief Executive of Amazon’s newest and most dangerous project. ” Forget Prime and Drone that’s yesteryear, we can have your goods delivered to you in a matter of minutes.”

Tom is reluctant to give away any in depth secrets to Amazon’s latest project but did reveal that the ‘Instant’ service was delivered by cannon fire.

“This is how it works. You go online, you order your stuff, once your order is confirmed it goes straight to our firing squad who load up the cannon and send it your way.”

This all seems well and good, however there are obviously some physical impracticalities of firing a heavy object for hundreds of miles. Such as what happens if it accidentally hits or lands somewhere its not supposed to?

“It hasnt happened yet,” Said Tom gleefully. “Its currently only a trial but we think its going well, we’ve increased our cannon size and weight so we can now launch a projectile up to 500kg over a distance of around 150 miles.”

When asked if there have been any accidents Tom said. “All Amazon Instant users are required to sign a disclaimer before using our service. For example, one customer gave us the wrong coordinates and we ended up destroying his neighbours roof with his new TV. It was quite unfortunate.”