Panic over Christmas dwarf shortage

CHRISTMAS pantos and and pop up Santa’s Grottos are said to be in “deep trouble” this festive season after a national shortage of dwarves.

Dwarves are said to be rejecting the traditional roles of shorter people and instead opting for careers in other services instead.

James Deacon, owner of Seasonal Events LTD said “We like to do things authentically, but our grotto business is really suffering this season because the little people just don’t want to work for us. They’re rejecting the Elf vacancies.” He said.

“We’d use children but child labour laws restrict us from doing so, we’ve had to resort to putting shoes on our employees knees then having then kneel down for the day.”

Jane Suarez, a vertically challenged call center worker from Newcastle was happy that others in a similar situation to her had begun rejecting being dressed up as Elves.

“I think its humiliating, us vertically challenged people don’t need to be stereotyped. We have it bad enough struggling to do every day things, let alone being dressed up in green and white stripes to have people mock us as well.”

When asked why other dwarves were turning to more mainstream jobs she said “Most of us work all year round, we aren’t just decorative ornaments you bring out for 25 days a year.”

James Deacon refuted Jane’s claim that those of a shorter stature were mocked and humiliated at such events. “I have never had that happen.” He said. “In fact they feel more at home during the Christmas period.”