Dog secretly digging his owners grave

A DOG has had to revert to drastic measures after being severely pissed off by his human owners.

Jumbo, a  German Shepherd Labrador cross from Croydon South London, has begun digging the grave if his owner after he reportedly asked him to get down from the couch.

The dog, who weighs almost 5 stone, was lounging around minding his own business, when his owner and ‘animal abuser’ Claire Deacon, came home from work, catching him in the act.

Jumbo who was asleep at the time, was rudely awaken by Claire’s shouting, demanding he ‘Get his arse off of the chair’ and ‘Get outside’. Jumbo barely had time to get his thoughts together before he was forcibly removed from the chair and led outside to the backyard.

“I was just minding my own business” said Jumbo with a gruff voice. “I know I wasn’t supposed to be on the chair but she didn’t have to be such a bitch about did she? Shes always moaning about my fur and malting all over the furniture. Why the hell did she get a dog like me if that’s what she was bothered about.”

After Jumbo was led outside, he hatched a not so secret plan, he was going to dig a hole deep enough to fit Claire’s body in it, he’d then wait for her to either fall in it or pay a local cat ‘Take care of her.” That way he could enjoy lounging on the sofa all day in peace.

“She’ll think I’m digging for my bone.” Jumbo said. “But really I’m digging her grave.”