UK sees huge rise in Nerf gun crime

THE UK has seen a huge rise in NERF gun crime during January 2017 according the Office of National Statistics which records such affairs.

According to the office, there have been 150 offences in the month of January in which a NERF gun or similar sort of firearm was involved. This represents a 50% rise on last years incidents.

“Nerf gun crime tends to increase after the Christmas period.” Said Joel Box lead coordinater of the ONS. “Parents think its a great idea to buy their children deadly weapons as presents, not knowing that most of these NERF guns will end up on the streets.”

Its not known how many NERF guns are actually on the streets but some estimates put the total around 500,000- 750,000 weapons. These weapons are often used for drive -by shootings and by small time crooks for holding up supermarkets for cash.

In another estimate by the ONS, NERF crime costs the economy around £2 billion a year, all of which they say can diverted else where.

“We’re going to start lobbying the government next so they take proper precautions, they just aren’t taking it seriously at the moment.”

“The inherent danger with these types of firearms is that parents think they’re a safe toy to use, but they really aren’t. Gangsters are putting cocktail sticks on the end and transforming the bullets into deadly darts.”

“So we suggest NERF guns only be sold to those aged 18 or older. We also propose a new ‘NERF license’ and that any guns purchased be safely secured within a NERF gun safe.”