UK combats climate change by introducing ‘Fart Tax’

THE BRITISH government has begun a trial today of a new ‘Fart tax’ aimed at cutting the human contribution to climate change.

The tax which will see people fitted with ‘Gasometers’ will allow the government to monitor a persons carbon monoxide and methane output and then tax them if it is deemed too much.

A pilot scheme is taking place in an anonymous town in Yorkshire- known for it’s gravy and pie eating ways- which is said to be the ‘smelliest in Britain’.

Sara Harding an official from the Governments Environmental Health department explained how the new tax was going to work.

“Its currently a trial and it’s in its early stages, but its going well so far. Currently we’re only taxing people who we feel fart too much but we may change it to give everyone an equal quota of gas they can produce.”

Sara continued “Its working out to around 15 pence per fart, which is great value for money considering you’re saving the climate too. Its actually a double tax, if you eat less junk food, you’ll produce less gas, pay less taxand therefore lose weight too.”

15 pence may not sound much but the average person produces 14 farts per day, working out to around £2.10 every 24 hours, £15 a week and £760 per year.

Local Labour councillor and prolific farter  Julie Book said “We are committee to fighting climate change but this is behind the pale. Poorer people will be taxed more because of their high fat diets. Its very unfair and we hope to God it doesn’t go any further than a trial.”