I’m a cyclist’ becomes the new ‘I’m a vegan’

MOVE over vegans, there’s a new annoying prick in town, and they’re called cyclists.

2016 was the year the UK finally came to terms with the fact that vegans were here to stay and that another group had taken over them in terms of being ‘really annoying’.

A recent straw poll shockingly placed cyclist’s at the top of the list of ‘People you wouldn’t want at your dinner party.’ Shortly followed in second place by Vegans and in third place by Neo-Nazis.

Organiser Kate Bush who ran the poll for a PhD project said, “Now we aren’t saying Cyclists or Vegans are worse than Nazis, so let’s just clear that up now.”

“However what the poll does suggest is the way these people go about their business. Cyclists were a surprise addition but we understand why.”

We spoke to one man who was polled “I voted for cyclists.” He said. I’ve been to dinner with one before and the guy just wouldn’t shut the f*** up about how bad drivers are and how many times he’s nearly been ran over. Jesus I almost got up and left.”

This seems to be a growning trend within the cycle community. Consistantly flouting road traffic laws, taking up road space without paying tax, refusing to use designated cycle lanes and having a general ‘Rule the road attitude’ is having a detrimental effect on their reputation.

A local cyclist who didn’t want to be named said “Yeah I’m a cyclist I can do want I want, if I run a red light wants the problem its not like I’ve got a tonne of weight behind me.”