USA goes a record 15 seconds without mass shooting

THE United States of America has set a new personal record after going a full 15 seconds without one of its residents committing a mass shooting.

In a country which has over 300,000,000 (300 Million) firearm’s- enough to arm almost its entire population- gun crime sees over 14,000 deaths per year. Including hundred and hundreds of mass shootings.

The shootings, which usually involve automatic weapons capable of shooting up to 30 rounds per second, have seen a year on year increase.

And although still more than any other country in the world. The US has finally managed to set a record, becoming mass shooting free for a whole 15 seconds.

Breck Chadinson from the National Rifle Association, who recently ran campaigns such as ‘Guns for Jesus’ and ‘The more guns the merrier’ has praised the new record and hailed it as a ‘New era’ in American society.

He said “Gun control does not work, this new record shows that. We, as proud Americans, need our arms to protect ourselves from ourselves and bad guys.”

“In fact we have just received some interesting leaked statics from the government today, more guns were bought on this day than any other day this year, and then we go and break a record. Do you know what that says about guns? That says more guns REDUCE gun crime. So folks, go out and buy as many firearms as you can, its the only way to keep our country safe and your family safe from the bad guys and from mass shootings.”