Space to become Safe

THE WORLD of science has unanimously agreed to designate space as a ‘Safe space’ after pressure from a Social Justice Warrior Group.

The Group of attention seekers named ‘It’s about Equality (I mean me)’ had been pressuring the science community to make the change for about 4 years before they finally folded.

Lead attention whore and mental health advocate- That’s someone who urges people with mental health issues to milk their condition- Melissa Toke, spoke to The Morning Wood, explaining the reason for IAEIME’s pressure.

“We are the leading pressure group in America, almost everyone we come across folds in half. We always get what we want.”

“Our organisation has set up over 5000 different ‘Safe spaces’ on college and university campuses nationwide. These spaces enable us to speak our mind without running the risk of being mentally triggered.”

“So we thought. Since we’re conquering America with our anti-free speech agenda, why not take space too? That’s why we are happy today to announce the designation of space as the largest Safe Space in the entire Universe.’

“No longer will female astronauts be triggered, they will literally always have a safe space to go.”

Although Melissa is happy with her success, the science community has reacted in anger at the proposal.

Dr Phillip Sangh said, “How can Space become ‘Safe’ this is ridiculous. Space is full of meteors travelling at hundreds of thousands if metres per minute, red hot stars reaching temperatures you cannot even comprehend, black holes that will split you in half. In fact the entire Universe is just one large explosion. Its an incredibly dangerous place to be.”