La La Land, the critically acclaimed movie with seven Golden Globes and a tonne of Oscar nominations, watched by millions of adoring women worldwide and also a tonne of unhappy boyfriends that have been roped into exchanging 90 minutes of their lives for the slim possibility of sex.
Starring Emma Stone, that woman who had one good film back in 2009, genuinely nice guy John Legend and a man who’s name not only makes him sound like Goose, but who face makes him look like one too, Ryan Gosling.
“It looks amazing, its romantic, its a musical, its got awards, its got nominations, this film is the full package.” Said Amy Hunt, a theatregoer that has clearly been sucked in by the films hype.
“I really don’t want to see it.” Said her boyfriend Tom who looked as if he’d been dragged all the way to the cinema.
“How can you get excited over nominations, thats like congratulating a person who comes in 2nd place. I could be at home playing Xbox, but instead I’m here, about to go into a screening of a movie I have no interest in and sit in a room that should probably display warning signs that say “Caution, dangerous levels of estrogen.”
We feel for Tom’s plight, but he’s not the only soul that has been duped. La La Land has taken $130 million in its opening two weeks, and has been watched by over a million people. That’s over 500 hundred thousand males who would rather be doing something else.