AFTER a six month long research into why your breath smells so bad, Doctors have finally determined that its because you’re ‘Talking so much shit.’
Doctor Patel Kumpar, who has a about five degrees, was the lead researcher. Starting the project after a sharp rise in patients visiting him with bad breath, which is known in the science world as ‘Halitosis.’
“I would have 15-20 people coming in every week.”, he said rolling his eyes. “So I thought I’d do some digging into what seemed to be turning into an epidemic.”
“At first, most over their causes seemed idiopathic, I just couldn’t work it out, so I sought help from a team of fellow Doctors I met in college after remembering one of them had just been given a very large research grant.”
Doctor Patel got to work with his team who working ‘Night and day to find a solution.’ After six months they finally hit a gold mine.
“When it hit me I felt so stupid.”, said Doctor Patel. “It was all because of a conversation about Brexit.”
“One man came in with another chronic case of halitosis. He began to talk to me about how we should leave the EU and I noticed that the more shit he spoke, the worse his breath got. In the end I had to tell him to stop speaking it was so bad.”
Doctor Patel confirmed his belief by having other conversations with other patients. The worst cases usually based around politics, Donald Trump, Brexit and the like.
“It was unbelievable, more research needs to be done but it seems like some people are literally talking shit.”