DONALD Trump has caused outrage among US pet owners this evening after it emerged his ban on Syrian refugees will also be extended to Syrian Hamsters.
The ban on visits from individuals living in seven Islamic nations has been signed via Executive Order, also included in the small print of his ban were ‘Cute, fluffy but deadly’ Syrian hamsters.
Domestic Syrian hamsters are a popular pet worldwide. Known for their charming nature, bubbly personas and ability curl up into a tiny ball of fluff, unfortunately their wild cousins have seen a drastic decline in population after ISIS began encroaching in their territory.
The average Syrian hamster grows to around six inches long and according to Trump, are now being used as a deadly weapons.
“I’m announcing this ban as we just don’t know who is coming into our great country.”, said Trump defiantly, waving his trademark OK sign in the air. “It will be extended to all Syrians travelling from the country, this will also include all marsupials.”
“Our CIA, our lovely CIA. Has given me top-secret Intel that indicates ISIS, yes ISIS, are using Syrian hamsters as miniature suicide bombers. Strapping deadly explosive belts to them, then sending them out into playgrounds, schools and shopping centres where helpless children are then pick them up.
“They have recently switched targets and are also intending to attack the citizens of the United States of America – God bless her- with these Syrian hamster refugees.”
Local Sheriff Davy Jones said,”This is an immediate threat to national security, if you have a Syrian hamster please take it to your nearest police department in a secure metal box, ready for us to begin de-radicalisation.”