A MAN who went to the press with claims of having been abducted and probed by aliens is telling the complete truth as he ‘Is only on three types of medication.’
Tyrone Gray from Lancashire, was on his way to work last week when he claims he was suddenly abducted by a strange alien race.
“They were grey, had long slender arms and big, wide, bug eyes.”, said Tyrone who seemed visibly stressed. “I was walking along the B456 around 9AM in the morning when suddenly there was this bright light. I don’t remember anything else until I came around about two hours later, stuck to the embankment at the side of the road.”
“It wasn’t until I got home later that I realised something was wrong. I mean I have been known to wake up from a drunken stupor in a ditch once or twice a week, but something about this occasion just felt wrong.”
“After having taken my medication, diazepam for anxiety, prozac for stress and olanzapine for hallucinations, I went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I was having very vivid flashbacks.”
Tyrone went on to explain what happened during his blackout, adamant that his medication wasn’t the reason he woke up in a ditch.
“One of them probed me with its finger. That was probably the worst part, once they were done they gave me tea and biscuits.”
Tyrone’s general practitioner, Dr. Simone Pal was skeptical of his claims. “They’re just as outlandish as he sounds. Tyrone, like many others who claim to have been abducted by aliens, are massive attentions seekers, usually always on an immeasurable amount of drugs.”
“As for his probing. That’s obviously a latent homosexual tendency. Although there’s nothing wrong with that.”