THE sails have been cast, the anchors are ready to be hauled in and the direction is set for somewhere in the Atlantic. As MP’s in Britain have finally voted to confirm its departure from Europe.
After voting 498-114 in favour, the House of Commons gave the go ahead for Teresa May to trigger Article 50, officially cutting Britain’s ties from Europe.
“Its great news.”, said May, Prime Minister and now Captain of the British Isles, once I trigger Article 50 we’ll be off. Far away from this wretched land of frog eating, schnitzel sucking, fart gobbling weirdos.”
“By March the clause will be triggered. We’re then set to leave Europe and arrive on the American eastern seaboard in around 8-9 months, weather dependent.”
The UK is thought to be the first country in history to attempt such a move. The ruling Conservative party believe that as they have been given the privilege of a fairly remote island, there is nothing attaching them to Europe and therefore they can just float away whenever they feel.
May continued, “I have spoken to US President Donald Trump and informed him of our plans, he said he was looking forward to our arrival and will stop the construction of his border wall, instead opting to build a massive inflatable crash barrier down the eastern coast.”
The British public reacted in excitement at the plans to sail away from the Europeans. Tom Huddle from Cornwall said, “We’ve been told to expect a bit of coastal damage when we finally arrive, but I can’t wait to go shopping in New York or Florida. Having them as neighbours will be brilliant.”