JESUS Christ is ready to rock and roll after he announced through his ‘TheRealJC’ Facebook page that his return to Earth would be on February 5th. Just in time for him to star at Superbowl 51.
Jesus, who’s last appearance was 2000 years ago, is ready to mark the end of times by ‘Drinking, singing and partying very f****** hard.’
“I very f****** excited to announce my come back tour.”, said his Facebook page. “I’ve been planning this s*** for a long, long time, but now the time feels right. The Devil’s coming soon but before then we’re gonna party hard!”
His post, which went viral within minutes, has garnered over 1 billion likes worldwide.
“I look forward to meeting you all. Humanity has changed quite a bit these past two millennia. You’ve gone from dumb f**** to pretty smart beings, although most of you still don’t get sarcasm.”
Superbowl LI will be fought between the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons, is hosted at the MRG stadium in Houston, Texas and is expected to pull in viewing figures close to 2.5 Billion after JC’s announcement.
Jesus is expected to perform with Lady Gaga- another famous face worldwide- the two will sing a duet of her song ‘Bad Romance’. Afterwards he will begin a ceremony that includes splashing the crowd with Holy Water and then feeding the crowd with just one McDonald’s Big Mac.
“Gaga is my all time favourite pop star.”, his post continues, “I can’t wait to meet her, we’re going to go HAM.”