A naughty cat has decided that it’s teenage rebellious phase will in fact, continue throughout its entire life.
After meeting other cats around her area, five month old Lola, a Tortoise shell from Leicester, has insisted her ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude is the one she would like to adopt for the rest of her life.
“My owner’s thought they’d adopted a cute little kitty who’d give them love and cuddles, but I’m basically just a little Stanley knife, ready to shred things up. I mean look at these.”, she said flexing her paws and retracting her claws.
“For the rest of my life I’m going to stay out late and come back whenever I want, kill things, scratch people, attack kids, shit on things, take catnip, if you don’t like it then cash me outside.”
Lola, who wears a pretty pink bandana, has been brought to an independent cat behavioural expert Anna Morton by her worried owners. Anna explained that her attitude is ‘Completely normal’. “Cats are natural assholes.”, she said bluntly.
“They’re very independent and don’t really rely on their owners, only doing so when they would like a bit of company, which in its self is very rare. They’d do perfectly well on their own in the wild and they know it, hence their obnoxious attitudes.”
“Sometimes we treat them as dogs and are a little hurt when they turn out a little aloof.”
Lola agreed with Anna by growling and biting her on the thumb. She said, “Fuck you, put me down you dumb bitch.”