Tesco called in to help with NHS bed crisis

BRITAINS largest supermarket Tesco has responded to calls from a cash strapped NHS by donating thousands of trolleys for its patients to use.

The retailer, which isn’t usually known for its generosity, has given the National Health Service 20,000 trolleys especially for its Accident & Emergency departments across the country.

“They’re short on beds.”, said Neil Charm, who sits on Tescos board of directors. “We feel its our civic duty to help out the NHS, since the crap food and cigs we sell sees people end up there anyway.”

“So to deal with the bed shortage, which really is a crisis by the way, we’re giving away free trolleys for every hospital. They can put patients in them if all of their beds are full.”, he smiled.

“We’ll be changing the wheels and setting them up for hospital use, if you’ve ever seen a drunk being carted round in a stolen trolley, then that’s pretty much how they’re going to be used.”

Tesco stressed their donation wasn’t a ‘Permanent solution’ to the problems the NHS faces, but did say that it’s customer’s would be ‘Rewarded’ if they were to use a Tesco trolley inside a hospital.

“We understand a trolley isn’t as comfortable as a bed so we’ve been looking at ways to help our customers out, that’s why with every use of a Tesco trolley, the patient will receive 100 Club card points for their troubles.”

One patient who didn’t wish to be named wasn’t best pleased with Tescos idea. “The trolleys are like sitting on a chain link fence and what’s worse is you need a bloody pound coin to use them.”