Britain facing yet another fake snow storm

PARTS of Britain are busily preparing today for yet another snow storm that will once again, fail to materialise.

The weather forecast which is issued by the notoriously incompetent and almost always wrong, Met Office, has seen parts of the Midlands given a ‘Red’ level alertness warning, the organisation’s highest severity.

Becca Yates from the Met Office said the UK should ‘Prepare for the worst-case scenario’.

“You need to stay inside, our computers are predicting extremely low temperatures and at least three feet of snow to fall over the next 48 hours.”

“I know we say this twice a year, but this time it’s for real. There’s a huge blizzard on the way and people really ,will die if they don’t take adequate precautions.”

Her words have been heeded by local councils and authorities who have begun spreading 20,000 tonnes of salt. Have closed rail ways and schools two days in anticipation and have diligently urged members of the public not to leave their homes until the storm passes.

Although government agencies are preparing for doomsday, local residents are far more relaxed about the forecast.

Bank worker Joanne Meek said, “This literally happens every year. They make it out to us like we’re going to have to dig ourselves out of our own homes but it never materialises.”

“That lump of snow they speak of will dump it’s self somewhere over the Atlantic and we’ll end with three snowflakes rather than three feet. Ironically it’s still enough to shut down the entire country.