THE science community has been left ‘Stumped’ after failing to find a single shred of evidence that would point to Donald Trump actively using his brain.
“He’s an enigma, one of a kind.”, said Professor Amie Peak from Cal Tech. “We just don’t know how his brain works. Or does he even have one? We aren’t sure.”
Trump has come under fire recently for several unpopular Executive Orders which have sparked outrage across the USA and Europe.
“We’ve ran hundreds of tests on his personality type, his speech, his body language and every single one has come up with a blank. Not even a negative or positive result, just absolute nothingness.”
“It’s like there is a vacuum inside his skull. Just emptiness. It would appear he has and IQ equivalent to a ham sandwich.”
Amie admitted she couldn’t ‘Categorically deny’ the existence of Trumps grey matter as there was still ‘A small number of tests to run’ however she did say that she was ‘99.9% certain’ the inside of The Donalds head was nothing more than empty space.
After hearing the claims, Donald Trump quickly hit back at the accusations of him being brainless. He said, “I’m not a robot, all of this science business, unless it’s funded by me directly, is fake news. Get it, fake, news.”
“I can assure you I have no problem with the size of my brain, no problem. I’ll tell you now folks, my brain and IQ are massive. Just because I have tiny hands that doesn’t mean to say I have a small brain. Or a small anything else for that matter.”