Science confirms small willies

THERE has been a ‘Small’ breakthrough in the science world after a newly released study confirmed the existence of the elusive small penis.

After years and years of interviews with males, scientist and lead researcher Eden Haines has finally found a group of men who are willing to admit that they have tiny willies.

“There’s also nothing wrong with having a small penis.”, he says in a blatant attempt to reassure most of the people reading this article.

“You can have a fantastic sex life with the smallest of willies, all it takes is patience and a very understanding partner.”

“The aim of our study was to bring tis to light, years and years of lockeroom banter has taught men to be ashamed of having a smaller penis, when there’s nothing at all wrong with it.”

Eden noted that until now, there hasn’t been a single ‘Accurate’ study into penis size. He points out that since most studies are reliant of the honesty of the participant, there is a huge margin of error since most of them ‘Elongate the truth’.

“We went and viewed the willies ourselves. We must have contacted around ten thousand men before we finally found the small willys in a football dressing room in Wales.”

“Once we were done measuring we found that around 50% of those we saw could be classed as small.”

One of the participants who didn’t wish to be named, is glad that he is helping to dispel the myth that everyone has a huge penis.

“I’m fed up of having to lie about the size of my nob. I want to get naked and have communal showers just like everyone else.”, he said.