A backbench rebel Tory group have been meeting up in secret to try and channel the ghost of Mrs. Thatcher it has been revealed.
Fed up with Theresa Mays so-called ‘Socialist policies’, the group, led by Berkshire MP Martin Hines, has been holding weekly seances using a ouija board in order to speak to Margaret Thatcher from beyond the grave.
“We’re fed up of Theresa Mays disgusting socialism.”, said Martin. “We are the Conservative party and we’re going to take it back to its roots.”
“What’s all this about helping the poor with housing and the minimum wage, pah.”, he spat.
Martin revealed that the group of five hardcore Tories had been trying to contact the dead on a weekly basis for about four months, but had so far been unsuccessful contacting Margaret Thatcher.
“We’re looking for inspiration, Thatcher is my idol and when I talk to her I’m hoping she’ll show us the true way of the Tory. Not this mamby pamby luvvie Theresa May bollox.”
Holding the seances with his anonymous members, Martin places a few items on the table, hoping it will coax out Maggie’s ghost.
“Currently we’re using a miners hat, a draft bill on cuts to social welfare and a plan to build more social housing.”
“We’ve been close a few times, but she just doesn’t want to come forward. We know she’s down there listening from Hell, Jimmy Saville came through last week and told us so.”