THERE has been jubilation in the Oval office this afternoon after the White House announced that Donald Trump has finally reached the same level of reading that most us could do when we were 7.
Initially unaware that his tenure as president would require him to be able to read, Trump started his ‘Intensive’ reading course a day after his inauguration, exclusively taught to him by boffins from Stanford University.
“He’s doing well.”, said Jonathan Peak, an English languages lecturer that was pulled from his day job of educating the countries brightest students to deal with Donald Trump.
“We’ve finished the blue, red and yellow Biff, Chip and Kipper books from the Magic Key series. He absolutely loves them. You should see him jumping up and down, clapping his hands like a maniac when he gets a word right.”
“At the moment we’re still working with two to three syllable words. The books are getting alot harder, but he seems to be going strong.”
After finishing Key Stage 1 in record time for a 70 year old, Trump was rewarded with a chocolate Caterpillar cake and a bag of Chuppa Chups lollies for his efforts.
Jon says he is ‘Confident’ that by the end of his term, Trump will be at least a Key Stage 4 reader.
“There’s a lot of hard work to go and a lot of big words to learn, but I think Don can do it. He will actually be reading the Executive Orders he signs in no time at all.”