NASA amazed the world yesterday with the discovery of a new solar system with seven different ‘Earth-like planets’, all of which are capable of supporting intelligent lifeforms.
However, shortly after the press conference it was also revealed that whilst taking photographs of the system with a telescope, an encrypted message came through to NASA headquarters.
After hours of deciphering, the nature of the message was revealed, much to the disappointed of some.
“We aren’t sure get who sent it.”, said Jane Clement, head of alien communications. “Its come from one of the planets, the message calls it ‘Zylkon Z, the main point they’re trying to get across is that they really do not want any visitors. We have messaged them back asking for clarification, but don’t expect a reply for at least seventy years.”.
NASA later released the full unedited message, it reads,
“Dear humans, we have been aware of your observation of our excellent planet for some time now. Please do not try to visit us as you will be turned back at the system border, we have a strictly enforced travel ban on all species that still wear socks with sandals.”
“Thank you and once again, fuck right off.”