FORMER UKIP leader Nigel Farage was admitted to hospital last night after developing a severe case of pink eye, caused by his face constantly being inside of Donald Trumps arse.
The disease, which is also known as Conjunctivitis, is thought to develop in the eye and surrounding tissue after coming in to contact with excess amounts of fecal matter.
“I am OK.”, said Farage from his private hospital bed/ studio, where he insisted he would continue to broadcast his nightly radio show on LBC throughout his ailment.
“Yes I have an infection.”, he told his four radio listeners. “No it isn’t pleasant, my face has swollen and I look slightly Chinese, which is never a good thing, but I’m still here and ready and waiting to talk to you all about our Messiah Donald Trump.”
Doctor Kumar, the man responsible for Mr. Farage was ‘Not suprised’ at seeing his condition.
“I thought it would be much worse.”, he said. “His face has been in Donald Trumps arse crack almost 24/7 since his inauguration, I’m surprised he hasn’t developed anything more serious.”
“We’re going to give him some antibiotics, an eye patch and my personal recommendation that he stays as far away from Donald Trump as possible.”