Million pound research project concludes by stating the fucking obvious

A MILLION pound research project studying the effects on sleep on the human body has concluded by stating the absolute fucking obvious.

The project, which was initially thought of as ‘Very promising’ was given funding through the National Lottery to monitor individuals who sleep during the day rather than at night, although it has now been slammed by the National Lottery as a ‘Massive waste of taxpayers money’.

Researcher James Grade however, has defended his work, “This has taken us six long months of blood sweat and tears. Me and my team have worked extremely hard and today we can finally be 100% sure that people who spend more time asleep, spend less time awake.”

James continued by confirming that ‘The Lottery were fully aware of his plans’.

However, Bill Bailey from the Taxpayers Allowance begs to differ.

“I am extremely angry at this.”,  he said. These ‘Researchers’ have essentially spent one million pounds on stating the obvious, and quite frankly it is very offensive.”

“Of course people who spend more time asleep spend less fucking time awake, even I could have told you that and I barely got five GCSE’s.”