House of Lords to be replaced with senile old peoples home

THE British government has launched a major overhaul in politics after announcing that the House of Lords will be replaced in an effort to save lots of money.

The change, which will see the House of Lords replaced by an elderly care home full of senile residents, is expected to make fuck all difference in the way the house operates as ‘It’s what they’re doing now anyway’.

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced the plan after the Lords repeatedly and undemocratically blocked her governments Brexit bill, instead, sending it back to the commons for it to be amended.

It is now thought that since dementia is rife in the House of Lords, they probably weren’t ‘100% sure in what they were doing with the bill anyway’, according to Mrs May.

Conservative MP Jonathan Creed agreed with the move to re-elect the Lords, he said, “The average age in the House of Lords is 95, almost everyone there has some form of degenerative brain disorder. The lucky few that haven’t are probably just asleep.”

“The move to and independent nursing home type house will not only save £21 million a year, but will actually increase revenue since the families of the newly elected peers will be paying for their care.”

Sounds like a fucking sensible business idea if you ask us.