4AM is the optimum time to run around the house, say cats

CATS have assured their human owners that it really IS necessary to run loudly around the house at four o’clock in the fucking morning.

After months of stomping up and down the stairs, running into things, clambering on furniture and meowing as loudly as possible, one cat in particular has determined that the early hours of the day are the best time to do it.

“There’s no one around and there is lots of free space.”, said Milo, a white and ginger tabby. “There’s so much room for activities and exercise, plus as a cat I get that 4AM energy spike you know.”

When asked why Milo didn’t just exercise during the day he said, “If I do that, I’d wake up my fellow cats.”

Milo doesn’t live with any others cats, just one human, who has complained about him several times.

“This tall hairless guy who lives with me has complained a couple of times, but as we all know when he leaves the room he ceases to exist. I think his names John or something, I don’t know, he brings me room service so I bear his shit in mind sometimes.”