Sturgeons consider name change

SCOTLANDS local sturgeon population is to consider changing its name after a ‘Ginger, Jimmy Crankie lookalike’ became more well known for the word than the actual fish species its self.

The fish population, whose evolution can be traced back some two hundred million years, is said to be ‘In turmoil’ after Scottish National Party leader Nicola Sturgeon announced her intention to call a second referendum on Scottish independence.

“We’ve had considerable backlash”, said Clive, a Sturgeon. “There has been some disgusting things written about us in the papers, some of them bordering on a hate crime.”

It is thought that the Sturgeons are being mistakenly targeted by pro-UK Brits who see Nicola Sturgeons announcement as a waste of taxpayers money.

“They’re coming to the riverside, throwing rocks shouting anti-nationalist comments at the water. My family has been part of the Sturgeon lineage for millions of years, I have no idea why Nicola has taken our name, she isn’t even a fish.”

 

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