Neighbours to be cancelled and replaced with ‘People I live near but never actually speak to’

After gracing our screens for nearly forty years, Channel 5 has announced that Neighbours will be leaving our screens.

The producers of the popular TV station on which it airs have decided to ‘Thrust itself into the 21st century and aim for the younger demographic’ by replacing the show with another called ‘People I Live Near But Never Actually Speak To’

Tina Wesly, who led the move to switch the shows has come under fire for the decision.

“It’s about our ever changing perspective.”, she said. “Our current viewers are very old and we need to do something about that, so we’re whipping up our content to target younger viewers.”

“We know there is a lack of community spirit these days, therefore we’ve changed our programming to make the things people see on TV more relatable.”

The show, which has already been partly filmed, is based on a Manchester council estate. Viewers will tune in to see people being ignored, tutted at and complained about to the police.

“We think it’s really going to hit the nail on the head. Our production costs are extremely low as the show is essentially just 30 people who don’t speak and pretend to ignore each other.”

“The best part is we pay on a word by word basis!”