Britain to feature on Brexit divorce special of Channel 5’s ‘Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away’

Britain is to be the focus of the documentary series following their vague refusal to pay a Brexit divorce bill to the EU Commission, which is currently touted to be £50 billion pounds.


In a recent interview with the BBC, Prime Minister Theresa May avoided questions about the divorce bill, galloping around the room like a wildebeest being hunted by a cheetah.


President of the European Council, Donald Tusk, said: “We will start with 10 Downing Street, I bet they’ve got some quality gear. The Prime Minister won’t have a pot left to piss in. I like the look of that cat too.”


“We will then begin extracting some of my favourite British landmarks: Big Ben, Blackpool Tower and Bluewater Shopping Centre. Not the 02 Arena, though – it looks hideous.”


Prime Minister Theresa May avoided the issue yet again, and said: “My message is clear: Brexit means brexit”, whilst Tusk responded: “Payment means payment.”


Meanwhile, security is being beefed-up at Downing Street to prepare for the bailiffs’ arrival. Plans are also in motion to install a Gladiators TV show-style assault course, which will conclude with a head-on rugby tackle from Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

Featured article by Matt Humphrey,

Check out his own personal blog here,