A Sloth has given scientists a valuable insight into its brain by agreeing to discuss drug use within the species.
Sid, a three-toed Sloth from the Amazon rainforest in Brazil, has spoken for the first time how his chronic drug use has made him ‘Slow’.
“I wasn’t always this way.”, said Sid. “I used to to move alot, but the weed, it just mellows me out man, I don’t want to do a damn thing. Its great being high, but the worst part is needing a shit.”
Sloths have an instinctive urge to climb down from the trees and defecate on the ground, this way they can bury their turd so predators can’t catch their scent.
“It takes so long to get down that once I’m back up here I need a shit again.”, said Sid.
Up until now scientists weren’t fully aware why Sloths such as Sid are so inactive (Other than taking shits), but after Sids valuable insights they now understand.
Tom Barker from the University of London said, “Sloths are world renowned for being lazy and slow movers. We thought it would be something to do with their metabolic process, but after our visit to Brazil we were really shocked.”
“It turns out these animals are so zoned out all of the time because they’re always fucking high. I mean not even like a regular 10 bag high, we’re talking like a Snoop Dogg, Whiz Khalifa high.”
“The levels of THC in these creatures is immense.”