The UK’s red fox population has begun a ‘Pre-emptive tactical strike’ on Britains elected Tory MP’s, by overwhelmingly voting to make it legal to hunt and kill them.
The leader of Red Fox, Britain’s largest Fox group, wished to remain anonymous, but for comedy reasons we’ll be labelling him as ‘Mr. fox’ has said his species had ‘No other option’ than to call the vote adding that the Tory’s they find will be dealt with by nothing but ‘Bare paws’.
“We’re hearing rumours that Theresa May is ‘All for’ fox hunting, Something we find extremely distressing. So we’ve decided to move first in this highly tactical game of Fox and Tory.”
Mr. Fox went on to label the British government as ‘Disgustingly barbaric and incredibly speciesist’ also saying that ‘No other countryside animal has been targeted for such systemic genocide in this way.’
Downing Street spokesperson Emma Glade, who is by the way number 17 on Red Foxes list, was given the green light to react on behalf of the PM. “Added precautions for Tory MP’s’ have been taken.”, she said.
“What we’re seeing here is an in inter-species radicalisation. Foxes need to be culled as they spread disease and are just general twats.”
“We won’t take this threat of Fox terrorism lightly and are currently monitoring several plots by Red Fox to assassinate British MP’s.”
She also went on the accuse Red Fox of being funded by the Labour party, “Jeremy Corbyn is known for his anti-establishment views, we are concerned that he has employed these canines to help him win the election.”